This is the question that bothers the minds of brokenhearted people. I know a lot of people had experience or experiencing this kind of feeling, even I! So, I know how painful it is to be in this situation. But I have something that you don’t have – something that really helps me to overcome this situation. And that something is a breakup survival guide, “Dear Alex, Break Na Kami. Paano?! Love, Catherine” by Alex Gonzaga.
Obviously, this is dedicated for all girls who are bitter, girls who believe in “Walang Forever“, girls who cry every night, girls who can relate to sad songs, girls who post dramatic status, in short, girls who are heartbroken. As the book says, “para sa mga single na, single pa, single by choice at ‘di matanggap na single sila.”
When I was in the National Bookstore, I somehow feel compelled to turn and look at this book. The title catches me. But as I started reading the book after buying it, the words of Alex Gonzaga catches me even more. I must say that I can see the light of hope when I finished the book. It really helps, especially for those who are brokenhearted.
So what’s inside this book? The title says it all. Well, aside from the love advice from the Alex, it includes the love story of Alex that you wouldn’t thought she has, questions and applications that will help you realize your position in love, breakup manual, reasons why you should move on, signs that you already moved on and even the top horror movies to watch and top songs to listen during the moving on period. Just like the author, the book is so cool with these topics, not just informative.
There are couple of lines that touched me in so many ways. And I know that it will also tap your heart. Do you want me to give some examples?
Let go of your fears. ‘Wag kang maging duwag. Face the future God has prepared for you. Don’t be afraid of being single because there’s nothing wrong with it. Hindi kasalanan ang pagiging single so it’s nothing to be sorry for or ashamed of. More importantly, don’t be afraid to love again just because you’ve been hurt several times. Somewhere out there someone is also waiting and praying for your arrival.
Guys want women who can handle themselves with or without them. If he sees na you’re the type who can drop everything for him, he might take you for granted, and he can drop you anytime, you’ll never know.
How will you regain your self-worth? Get out of the relationship. You shouldn’t be getting your worth from the guy, sa’yo dapat manggaling ‘yan. Kung iniwan ka ng lalaki, ipakita mo sa kanya na kaya mo, hahanga pa s’ya sa’yo! Pero ‘pag ipinakita mo na depressed ka, iisipin n’ya na tama ngang iniwanan ka n’ya.
Sa mga kabataan, ‘wag agad kayong magpakabulag sa love kasi kadalasan kung ano ‘yung gusto n’yo nu’ng 16 years old kayo eh hindi n’yo na gusto pagdating n’yo ng 24. Hintayin n’yo munang dumating kayo sa tamang edad para gumawa ng mature decisions. ‘Wag kayong atat! ‘Wag attached agad!
We know that Alex is a comedy type person and she brings this personality of hers in her book through ‘hugot’ quotes mixed up with funny jokes.
Tandaan: Walang namamatay sa heartache! Sa ulcer meron, kaya please lang, kumain ka!
Insecurities will eat you up. So, I suggest you eat your insecurities and poopoo them.
Among all the text in the book, there is one story that really slaps me.
This is exactly what happened to my friend. May neighbor s’ya na nanligaw sa kanya pero binasted n’ya. After two years, niligawan uli s’ya nu’ng guy. For three years, patay na patay sa kanya ‘yung guy. Finally, naging sila for about 4 years. Kaya lang, when they were together, ‘yung friend ko was being a brat. Even though my friend was like that, walang reklamo ang boyfriend n’ya at sinusuportahan pa din s’ya. But all of a sudden, naging cold ‘yung boyfriend n’ya. ‘Yung friend ko kasi, palagi s’yang nanghahamon ng pakikipagbreak – hanggang sa nakipag-break na nga talaga sa kanya. ‘Yun pala, na-discover n’ya na may ka-fling na ‘yung guy. Sobra s’yang nasaktan, at na-shock dahil hindi s’ya sanay na ganu’n ‘yung boyfriend n’ya. In denial s’ya sa pangyayari. Ang ginawa n’ya eh nagmakaawa s’ya du’n sa guy to stay with her until she has fully moved on. Ilang beses kong pinaintindi sa kanya na hindi na s’ya mahal nu’ng lalaki. Pero sinasabi n’ya sa’kin, “Hindi! Imposible, Cathy. Mahal niya ako.” I’ve been telling her na ‘pag hindi pa s’ya gumising sa katotohanan, lalo lang s’yang masasaktan and she’ll only regret it later on. True enough, nu’ng mahimasmasan s’ya, diring-diri s’ya sa sarili n’ya dahil nagpakatanga s’ya. At ngayon na may bagong boyfriend na s’ya, hiyang-hiya s’ya sa mga ginawa n’ya. She really regrets doing that.
This story speaks a lot. I hope that girls will learn their lesson from this story because I know many can relate into it – to be stupid out of love. As for me, I learn that denial (can’t believe that you and your boyfriend are separated), anger (revenge against your ex or his new girlfriend) and bargaining (forcing yourself to be with your ex again even he, himself doesn’t you anymore) will just delay your process of moving on. If you say move on, then move on, no more, no less.
The examples I have given are just 7 paragraphs out of 138 pages. It means that these are just free taste and you still miss a lot from the book. Break na kayo. Paano?! The answer is to buy the book and read it. It’s worth it!