Stupid id forever

In the world, Filipinos are admired for being happy people inspite of the abundant problems we have. We usually change serious problems into funny jokes to forget them. That’s why, Filipinos have the most number of witty and amusing “kalokohan” or “pauso” when it comes to Twitter or Facebook. Normally, these jokes and memes that went popular all over the country are led by the comedians on television, Youtube sensation maker on internet and funny authors on books or Wattpad. But there’s this one senator who will complete the list.

As the book, Stupid is Forever, says, sense of humor is absent among politicians, but Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago is truly talented exception. People are puzzled how she can spontaneously make them laugh in the midst of national policy crisis and of real danger into her life as a corruption fighter.

See! Even Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago, who is known for her feisty attitude, manages to laugh and to have sense of humor, despite of the weight of the problem of our country she carries. And not just that, she also presides over a book, wherein she compiled all her jokes, one-liners, pickup lines, comebacks and speeches she delivered.

And of course, this humor book became the National Bookstore Philippine Publication Bestseller for January, the month after the month she launched her book. Yes, that fast! In fact, even I, who checks National Bookstore daily, find it difficult to buy “Stupid is Forever” because copies are bought by readers immediately. So, for those who haven’t bought this book, you should reserve yourself now! It will definitely make you cry out of laughter.

© astig.ph

© astig.ph

Here is sneak peak quotes from her compilation.

Ang pulitiko, para sumikat, ay tinatakot muna ang taong-
bayan na may malaking problema, kagaya ng kidnap for
ransom. Pagkatapos, nagpapanggap na siya lang ang may
kakayahan na lumutas ng problema. Ang totoo, siya
pala ang may hawak ng mga kidnappers. Ang galing!

In spite of its great accomplishments in modern times,
science has not yet discovered adequate controls for
a number of national phenomena, including climate
change, storm surge, tsunamis, and politicians.

Darwin’s theory of evolution suggests that first came the
baboon, and then man. Politics proves that Darwin is
wrong, and that first came man, and then, the baboon.

ignorance can be cured, stupid is forever

Kung ang mga bagay ay makakapagsalita:
“You never know what you have until you lose it, and
once you lose it, you can never get it back” – Snatcher
“Ginagawa ko naman ang lahat para sumaya ka. Mahirap ba
talagang makuntento sa isa? Bakit palipat-lipat ka?” – TV
“Kapag nagmamahal ako lagi na lang maraming tao ang
nagagalit! Wala ba akong karapatang magmahal?!” – Gasoline
“Pinapaikot mo lang ako. Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti
pang patayin mo na lang ako.” – Electric fan
“Hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin C” – Kili-kili
“Hindi lahat ng bumabakat sa damit ay nakakaakit” – Bilbil

Password ka ba? Hindi kasi kita kayang
kalimutan, pero kaya kitang paltan.

Ang sabi nila “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
Kung guwapo o maganda ang doctor, ayoko na ng apple.

Kung asukal ka, ako namay sago. Wala akong kwenta kung wala ang tamis mo

Holdaper: Holdap ito! Akin na ang pera mo!
Lalaki: Hindi mo ba ako nakikilala?
Isa akong congressman!
Holdaper: Kung ganoon, akin na ang pera namin!

What is the difference between corruption in the
U.S. and corruption in the Philippines?
Answer: In the U.S. they go to jail. In the
Philippines, they go to U.S.

Pulitiko ka ba? Ang ganda kasi ng mga
mata mo. Corrupt ng corrupt.

ano ang pagkakapareho ng sperm at ng pulitiko

Do you want a job where you get to travel a lot
and have lots of money in your hands?
Pwede kang konduktor ng bus.

Teacher: Ano ang similarity nina Jose Rizal,
Andres Bonifacio at Ninoy Aquino?
Student: Lahat sila, namatay ng holiday!

Law school is quite easy. It’s like a stroll
in a park. Pero Jurassic Park.

Alam niyo ba ang alamat ng giraffe

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence – a life sentence.

Ano sa Tagalog ang: “Eat all you can,
don’t be shy, feel at home!”
Sagot: “Kain lang kayo ng kain, walanghiya
kayo, pakiramdam niyo bahay nyo to!”

Husband: When I’m gone, you’ll never find another man like me.
Wife: What makes you think I’d want another man like you?!

kapag sinabi sa iyo ng boyfriend mo na nanlalamig siiya

Hindi naman ako mataba eh. In fact,
I’m so sexy that it overflows.

Excuse me, I’m not a blushing bride. I’m a veteran wife.

If I do not die of cancer, or if I do not die from
the medication, I will die from making the living,
because these cancer pills are so expensive.

Il Pobre Senadores Ala Utac